5 Barney Pick Up Lines That Might Actually Work (& 5 That Never Would)

gomoviesDecember 7, 2019

When How I Met Your Mother was in its heyday, the show had managed to convince fans that Barney Stinson was a true ladies’ man. He did make good on this assumption most of the time, but his path was also riddled with many failures.

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If one were to apply his plays and pick-up lines in real life, then there might be room for success in places. However, it also depends on how you say it rather than simply what is being said. Other times some Barney lines didn’t translate to reality and are only funny when left in the sitcom world. Here are five each of the pick-up lines that hold promise and those that would never work.

10 Might Work: “I’m The Bass Player For Cheap Trick.”

Since Barney’s already used the name of this band, it might not be the wisest thing to use the exact name yourself, but this line does have definite potential. Exchange that name for another low-key band’s and you might be able to get away with this.

It might even work for a high profile band too – after all, can you name all the members of Maroon 5 or Coldplay? Band members who blend into the background aren’t well-known, so Barney using a bass player as his hook is a technique that could go far in impressing someone with your supposed musical skills.

9 Never: “I Wet Myself Will You Change Me?

Barney used this line when he accepted the challenge to speak like a child, and it got him some very negative results as the lady in question ended up scared of him. No matter how suave you might be or whatever your confidence level, there’s no way this would ever work.

People generally don’t even like to change a baby’s diaper, so what in the world would make anyone believe that a grown man could pick up a girl by asking her to change him? This is easily one of the most inappropriate things Barney has ever uttered.

8 Might Work: “Don’t Drink That. I Saw Some Guy Slip Something In There.”

The trick here isn’t to hope to impress the lady in question but to land a wingman so devoted that he wouldn’t mind being called out as a suspect for a crime. If you can manage to get someone like that, then this will surely work.

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The beauty of the play here is that the person won’t even realize this is a line. However, the best way to use this pick-up would be to come clean once it works. Turning this line into a joke would avoid any inappropriateness and start things off on a lighter note.

7 Never: “I’m Also A Horny Devil.”

At times, it appeared as if Barney had no real interest in impressing a girl and would only say things to see just how far he could go before he got slapped. On this occasion, he went with some bad wordplay by pointing toward his costume.

When he managed to interest the girl just a little bit, Barney went with a pick-up line referencing his horned devil costume. Understandably, this didn’t work in the slightest and it would do you best if you stayed very far away from using this,

6 Might Work: “He’s Not Coming.”

While How I Met Your Mother played this scene for laughs, you’ll be surprised to know just how many jilted lovers there really are in New York City that can fall for this. Locations that are tourist hot spots are prime for the taking to use this too. 

All one needs to do is gauge which person around them looks like they’re desperately searching the crowd, and the opening is right there. Even if you turn out to be wrong about the situation, it’s still a good line to break the ice and get the other person laughing.

5 Never: “Hey Ladies. Call (Me).”

This was a pick-up line on the grandest scale anyone could ever think of, but make no mistake it was also the worst one Barney ever used. Here, Barney was basically trying to pick-up all the girls in New York and even gave out his number.

While you might manage to get some calls for yourself, the likeliest scenario would be calls from crazy people with dangerous intentions. Never trust a comedy show for lifehacks. This one is a definite no-no.

4 Might Work: “I Can Swear You Fell Out Of Heaven, Angel.”

This line was part of a larger play where Barney had a girl believing that she was in need of medical assistance because she looked like she fell out of heaven. It was a cheesy line, sure, but one that can be pulled off if sincerely stated. 

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You don’t need the whole shebang Barney went through here since just the line can do the trick if you’re not coming across like a hopeless loser. Even Robin seemed interested in it because of Barney’s delivery, and just the right kind of romantic touch (or being Neil Patrick Harris) can make it work.

3 Never: “Come With Me If You Want To Bang.”

If you want to go to get in trouble for parading around someone and propositioning them like this, then this one is for you. Other than that, don’t even think of ever using this line. And no, we’re not considering the fact that Barney wasn’t wearing anything when he said this. The line is just unacceptable on its own.

Put yourself in the shoes of the person on the other side of this line and you’ll get how appalling it would be if someone came up to you like this. It makes no difference if you’re handsome or cool, this one is a disaster.

2 Might Work: “Do You Like Magic?”

“Who doesn’t like magic?” would be the correct question here. Magic tricks are a show that everyone enjoys, especially if they’re done on the fly. Yes, we’re talking about pick-up lines here, but couple this line with a genuine trick and you’re good to go.

You don’t need to come up with a large scale trick like the one Barney did, because even cheap parlor tricks can get the job done since no one expects them to play out in front of them. The line itself is important too, as you have to come across mysterious rather than weird when saying it.

1 Never: “Daddy’s Home.”

In a time where women have role models that rightly tell them they’re worth more than objects of conquest, this one represents the most archaic type of thinking. It undermines the value of a girl and treats them like a play toy.

Unless you’re married and using this as a joke with your wife, this one won’t do anything other than get you kicked out. Barney himself knew it wouldn’t do the trick and used it as his pick-up line to fool Ted into believing he had been successful.

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